Alfredo: Forever and always the hood’s favorite

My friends and I had a funny joke we overused back when we were teenagers. Every time we got into some kind of romantic relationship, we’d say something like this to the girl we were dating: “Do you love me? Do you really love me?” 

Some of these significant others would crack a smile, while others would allow a look of seriousness to wash across their face — until me closed with, “Cuz if you really love me, baby, please, please don’t make no damn Alfredo!” 

On almost every occasion, the young woman would burst into laughter and she didn’t, then she sure would after we’d explain how every girl from our hood’s go-to dish was chicken Alfredo. 

Now, my mom never made it, my grandma has never heard of it and there were no Italians in our orbit but surprisingly it became a go-to dish. I never complained about it because, in my extremely unpopular opinion, Alfredo tastes way better than spaghetti with red sauce and I can’t remember turning any down. 

“What in the hell can you make, dummy?” Moni asked my close friend Al after he made the “East Baltimore girls only know how to make Alfredo” joke. 

“Not a goddamn thing,” he replied, pausing to hit his blunt, “But I’m sure that even my nothing that tastes better than your old-ass Alfredo!” 

Moni won the argument because Al had two or three servings every time she prepared the dish. As a matter of fact, we all had two or three servings every time we could get our hands on it­­ — and I don’t remember ever having it as a child. Alfredo popped up during high school and took over the neighborhood. Most of the people who experimented with Alfredo used store-bought sauce and it was still delicious.

Alfredo was the first pasta dish I tried to experiment with, adding different types of cheeses, chicken, chicken and shrimp, or lobster–– and it is a hit every time. 

Alfredo has stuck with me for years, but I stepped away from the store-bought stuff and really perfected my sauce over the pandemic. Well, at least from the perspective of an amateur chef. Full disclaimer: While I do use parmesan cheese, I prefer a vegan version of heavy whipping cream so that I’m not overloaded with dairy. Also, I boil my noodles in broth, using bowtie pasta because they are neater than fettuccine. I like mine soupy with crab meat, shrimp and lobster, but you should add the protein of your choice.