In Praise of the Girls Trip
Amazing things can happen in your 30s. You get married. Or finally nab that promotion. Maybe you move across the country, reconnect with a lost love, and start a family. Perhaps it’s none of the above—and that’s totally okay. One thing is for sure: You’re probably long overdue for a girls trip.
For the uninitiated, Urban Dictionary defines a girls trip as “a getaway or escape, typically filled with fruity cocktails, wine coolers, and all the other girly drinks your husband gives you the side-eye for. An excuse to run away from the monotony of real life, one typically filled with a hectic job, whiny children, and a husband who just doesn’t get it.” Let me be clear: A girls trip is not a bachelorette party, the age-old tradition comprised of mostly female friends that’s synonymous with partying, no sleep, penis decorations, and games no one actually wants to play.
A girls trip, by contrast, is civilized (or at least as much as you want it to be!). It’s a gathering of like-minded people who want to get together on their own terms, with their own money, for the mere sake of catching up and enjoying themselves in a location that’s preferably warm and as far from home as humanly possible. This is a vacation made for letting loose—within reason—and being carefree in every sense of the word. And it’s not designated to one person, it’s a guaranteed good time for everyone. To quote the late great Lexi Featherston, “What ever happened to fun?”
I recently had the pleasure of visiting the Four Seasons Resort and Residences Napa Valley, which I truly cannot recommend enough. And so, without further ado, here are my best tips for planning a girls trip of your own.
Choose your companions wisely.
When it comes to group travel, less really is more. For my first girls trip since college, I carefully selected three of my closest friends, who just so happen to be former colleagues. Having a smaller group made it easier to schedule flights, make reservations, agree on an activity—and, perhaps most importantly, fit into an UberX.
Book a house (and assign rooms accordingly).
Hotel rooms are great and all, but, let’s face it, they can be a bit constricting. If you really want to maximize your time together—and simultaneously allow yourself the space to close your door and maintain a semblance of privacy—look into reserving a house. The Four Seasons Napa in particular has Private Retreats, which are bookable luxury villa accomodations. Each one is designed with entertaining in mind (think: an open kitchen, spacious bedrooms, indoor and outdoor dining areas, and a fire pit ideal for making s’mores). Make sure to assign rooms ahead of time to avoid awkward moments and unwanted conflict at the beginning of a trip.
A private residence at Four Seasons Napa Valley.
Align your expectations.
It’s important that everyone is on the same page with what the trip is going to be. Is one person an early bird and another prefers to sleep in? Does someone like group tours and the rest prefer to sunbathe with a good book? You’re going to need to find a compromise that works for all parties involved (even if you split up occasionally and go your own way). As long as you’re all transparent with each other about what’s going on, you’re good to go.
Make a killer playlist.
No girls trip is complete without a head-bobbing soundtrack, including but not limited to: Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, NewJeans, Olivia Rodrigo, and more of the best songs of 2023. We blasted “bad idea right?” by the latter en route to Napa’s local watering hole, Susie’s.
Amuse-bouches at Auro.
Plan fun group activities.
Dinner reservations are a must (go to Auro and get the five-course tasting menu!), but there’s more to exploring a place than just eating, even if it is Michelin-rated. Try facilitating a group yoga class outside before a local wine tasting. (We chose a private in-villa yoga class, part of our curated experience in the Private Retreats offering.) It’ll boost your mood and relax your body before you spend the afternoon gossiping about old co-workers over multiple glasses of Sauvignon Blanc at Elusa Winery, also located on the property. That being said, allow space to go off-schedule. FOMO is a real thing, but sometimes a jam-packed itinerary isn’t always the answer. Leave room for unexpected stops that you might hear about only after you’ve arrived. In our case, that was a visit to Spa Talisa on-site.
The vineyard at Elusa Winery.
Document your travels, and create a shared album.
At least one of you should pack a camera (preferably a disposable one) to capture each and every friend-filled moment, so you can reminisce about the best trip you ever had on a text chain for months to come.
Digital Director
Claire Stern is the Digital Director of ELLE.com. Previously, she was Deputy Editor of ELLE.com. Her interests include fashion, food, travel, music, Peloton, and The Hills—not necessarily in that order. She used to have a Harriet the Spy notebook and isn’t ashamed to admit it.