GOP’s Biggest Losers of 2023: George “It’s A Witch Hunt” Santos
This is the fourth in a five-day series. Read part one, part two, and part three.
It’s a good thing we know George Santos is a pathological liar, or we’d have to worry that he is the unluckiest man alive. In the past, the former Republican congressman from New York has claimed his mother died on 9/11, that his family barely escaped the Holocaust, that four of his employees were murdered in the Pulse nightclub shooting, that his niece was kidnapped, that he was once mugged and was also the victim of an attempted assassination. None of it was true. So it’s okay to be skeptical of the latest Santos tale of tribulation: He says his car was broken into and $180 worth of gifts were stolen. He used a photo of broken glass as “proof,” but the glass miraculously healed, with no broken windows, by the time Eyewitness News arrived on-scene.
The histrionics over “a busted” car were mostly an occasion for Santos to play to whatever lingering audience of MAGA morons might still support the recently ousted representative, as Santos used it as grist for vitriol against the Democratic mayor of New York City, Eric Adams, who he called a “f—king animal.” (Adams did not break into Santos’s car and despite the myriad of legitimate criticisms of him, crime has gone down during his tenure.) One does not need to like Adams in order to reject Santos pandering to the people who assert, sight unseen, that New York City was left a burned-out husk after Black Lives Matter protests.
The whole thing is a dreary reminder that, as amusing as it may be to see Santos doing Cameo videos for cash, the man doesn’t just have an ugly soul. He lacks imagination and does not deserve to be elevated to a camp icon. As Melanie McFarland wrote in Salon, “Santos’ rise to power is a symptom of that cancer” of authoritarianism that has also gave us Donald Trump.
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Instead, Santos should be remembered, in what is likely his march to prison, for what he is: The platonic ideal of a MAGA Republican. As Michelle Goldberg of the New York Times wrote when Santos was finally expelled from Congress late this year, “He’s heir to Trump’s sybaritic nihilism, high-kitsch absurdity and impregnable brazenness.”
The majority of Republicans seem to understand that there is no way to denounce Santos, who is under 23 felony charges related to fraud, without calling into question why they continue to support Trump. The former president doesn’t just have 91 felony indictments, but he’s also been found liable in civil court for fraud and a 90s-era sexual assault of journalist E. Jean Carroll. Rejecting Santos while embracing Trump is like getting angry at the neighborhood cat caller while calling Ted Bundy a stand-up fellow.
Rather than parse these distinctions with reporters, most Republicans instead strike a reflexive support-all-Republican-criminals posture. That’s why it took 328 days and two votes before Santos got the boot. Even then, Democrats — nearly all of whom voted to toss Santos — truly deserve the credit. The majority of Republicans voted to keep Santos in the body, including the newly anointed speaker, Rep. Mike Johnson of Louisiana.
Republicans have trained the press well. Most reporters find it tedious to remark about it. Like declaring “how ’bout that heat” in July, getting in a dander about GOP depravity is treated as the pastime of boring people. But I think the press really missed an opportunity, despite sending fleets of reporters to chase Santos around. Johnson, for instance, loves to rave about how “the Bible” is “my worldview.” No one has, as far as I know, bothered to ask Johnson to point out where in the Bible Jesus condones defrauding homeless veterans, stealing credit cards, or falsifying your life story to the press. Surely there’s some curiosity about his possible answer?
Sigh, who am I kidding? We all know what the outcome would be if Johnson was asked to square his support of Santos — or of Trump, for that matter. He’d flash his “what are you going to do about it” smirk and start droning some glib bullshit in the lawyerly tone he uses to make all his bananas beliefs sound authoritative. It’s exhausting to even ponder. I can see why no one wants to go through the motions, even on the hope of saving the republic from these pompous liars.
It is worth flagging that, while Johnson voted to keep Santos, he didn’t exactly go out of his way to save him. Instead, he let 105 members vote to expel Santos, without trying to whip them against it. Republicans get no points for not rallying more heartily to defend Santos, however. It just underscores that what drives them is not, as Johnson said, “the Bible,” but their naked worship of power. Trump has lots of power, so he gets the rally-the-wagons response when he commits crimes. Santos has infamy, but no real power. Republicans cut him loose with the same ease that Santos let that dog die.
Despite all this, I was torn about whether or not Santos made the cut for a five-day series about the biggest losers of the GOP. He did do a great deal of individual harm to his alleged victims. Still, he’s not a threat to the country like, for instance, former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, who was also on my shortlist. Plus, so much of the post-defenestration discourse around Santos assumes that his impudence, on its own, opens the door to his next act: Perhaps a reality TV series? A podcast? Or pulling a Milo Yiannopoulos and declaring himself “ex-gay?” I’ve heard more than one pundit self-assuredly declare that we will have to endure Santos for a long time. To many, it seems inevitable that Santos will find his home in the right-wing media ecosystem that apparently prints money for any grifter willing to echo their talking points.
But I find myself skeptical for one simple reason: Odds are actually pretty high that Santos is going to prison relatively soon. His trial is set for September, and the evidence against him is staggering. Unlike Trump, Santos doesn’t have a massive support system willing to pay millions to stall this trial. Why would donors give him money? Even if Santos could escape the noose, he has no power and nothing to offer potential backers in return. Plus, they’d be worried he’d steal their credit cards.
No, I don’t think Santos will have a chance to be on “Dancing with the Stars” or some “Real Housewives” franchise. Unlike the actually rich and powerful Republicans whose ranks he tried to join, Santos is likely to face swift justice for his alleged crimes. So he deserves a spot on this list. We can just hope his fate will loosen up the handcuffs for many more MAGA criminals who have done much worse than alias “Anthony Devolder“.