“Freshman-era hand stuff”: John Oliver mocks Lauren Boebert’s torrid “Beetlejuice” date

John Oliver has officially returned to hosting HBO’s “Last Week Tonight” now that his writers are back following a five-month-long hiatus. And although there were a slew of newsworthy topics for Oliver to cover on Sunday’s episode, one stood out the most: Rep. Lauren Boebert’s infamous yet steamy “Beetlejuice” date.

“It was a torrid production of ‘Beetlejuice: The Musical.’ I just need you to know that. I’m not saying it would be appropriate to engage in high school freshman-era hand stuff during a production of any musical,” Oliver joked. “I just want to be clear, this wasn’t one of the more sexually explicit ones like ‘Spring Awakening’ or ‘Rocky Horror’ or ‘Cats.’ This was ‘Beetlejuice.’ A show that’s quite loudly about death. 

“I’m just saying, if you’re gonna get your nipples tweaked and your pipes squeaked, save that shit for ‘Fiddler [On The Roof]’ like a goddamn adult.”

Oliver continued, poking fun at the fact that Boebert and her date got kicked out about five minutes into Act 2 of the production. He also made jabs at Boebert for asking, “Do you know who I am?” as she was escorted out of the theater: 

“If you’ve been caught for, again, sexual activity during ‘Beetlejuice: The Musical,’ you would hope no one knew who you were. And you definitely wouldn’t want to immediately get on the phone with the mayor to tell him what had just happened.”