This Viral At-Home Massage Device Feels as Good as a Professional Treatment

3 min read

I’ve had back problems since high school—not scoliosis but aggravated discs. I’ve gone through the typical ebbs and flows of pain. Sometimes it’s managed and far from my mind, other times it’s raging, and I can’t even move. At 26, I lost muscle control in my left leg below the knee and sensation in my left foot. I limped all summer long before having surgery: a discectomy and decompression of my L4-5/S1. After months and months of physical therapy, I’m finally back to normal, and my pain is managed. Two PTs, 1 acupuncturist, 1 masseuse, and a red light therapy mat later, I’ve formed opinions about what works and what doesn’t. And here’s one thing that definitely works for me: the Chirp massage table.

I describe it as a massage chair except it’s flat. You can use it on the floor, a couch, or bed, but I keep mine on the floor. The motorized gadget combines decompression, massage, and heat therapies to provide professional-grade massages at-home. Sounds pretty nice, right? Rollers kneed your entire back, shoulders, and neck. I love to lie down, hit the “Relax” preset on the remote, and zone out for 10-15 blissful minutes.

It’s pricey, but so are hospital bills. Plus, you can use your HSA/FSA funds to purchase it. And it’s not small either. It measures 23 inches by 43 inches and weighs a little over 20 pounds. It doesn’t fold up, but it can easily be stored under a bed, behind the couch, or in a closet. As a testament to how much I like this product, it just lives on the floor of my tight New York City apartment. I’d rather a minor eye sore than a sore back, personally.

Sometimes I use it morning and night—that’s how much I love it. You can adjust for height and pressure, customizing the massage to your preferences. If you’re sharing the table, you can even save your settings for easy resetting. On the note of customization, the table comes with three interchangeable roller heads that fit neatly inside the machine. The soft rollers are ideal for tight, sore muscles, while the contour option offers more pressure on four contact points. The deep tissue rollers feature wheels that recreate the effect of a deep-tissue massage.

It bears mentioning that I do see a traditional massage therapist as often as my budget allows, usually every two months. For a few of these sessions, I used the Chirp immediately before my appointment in hopes that the table could do some of the grunt work of getting me loosened up, so that my masseuse could maximize our time. On occasions when I did not use the Chirp, my beloved massage therapist has commented on how extra tense and knotty I am. So if that doesn’t lead you to believe it works, I don’t know what will. I also think it has helped ease my jaw tension, thanks to the sensational neck massaging function.

I’ve had no fewer than five people try it out since getting mine, and the consensus is that it can come off as a bit intense at first, especially if your muscles are really tight and haven’t been worked out in a while. Just like a real massage, it isn’t always comfortable, but most of the time, it feels damn good. Of course, you should still see a doctor for any symptoms you might have, but if you’re looking for something that will revolutionize your maintenance and pain management, I can’t recommend this highly enough.

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