Nicole Ari Parker Is Embracing Sex and the City’s New Era

Sex and the City was and continues to be in a class of its own. It was not just about women in their 30s, their relationships, and sex; it was also a love letter to New York City and the power of friendship. It’s no wonder that fans—including my father, a devout weekly viewer on HBO—hold the game-changing show and its beloved characters so dearly. When And Just Like That…, the long-awaited SATC reboot, premiered last year on Max, it was met with fanfare, but also criticism. Some fans weren’t ready for Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and the world around them to change, whether it was through embracing gender fluidity or diversity. But to me, admittedly a late adopter to the SATC universe, And Just Like That… feels like a natural progression for a group of women living in New York, now in their 50s. They’re facing new challenges, and they have some new friends in their circle.

One of those new friends is Lisa Todd Wexley, also known as LTW, a documentarian, a humanitarian, an art collector, an honoree on Vogue’s international best dressed list, a super-mom, an attentive wife, and a fellow parent and board member at the school Charlotte’s children also attend. LTW is a woman that contains multitudes so it comes as no surprise that a woman of equal range, the very talented Nicole Ari Parker, is playing her . I have been a long time fan since first seeing her in Boogie Nights and watching her as Teri Joseph on the cult classic TV series Soul Food. With a very long list of TV and film credits to her name (peep the IMDB) she is both booked, busy, and currently giving us glamor, art and fashion on AJLT. While the absence of Samantha Jones has been felt by fans, Lisa Todd Wexley fills a void she has left behind with no intentions of trying to replace her.

I caught up with Parker the day after the New York premiere of Season 2 of AJLT, right on the heels of the 25th anniversary of Sex and The City. It was 9:30 A.M. and she confessed to me that she was still in last night’s make-up (I personally have never looked that good in last night’s anything). Her equally gorgeous husband, actor Boris Kodjoe, was making her a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Just as effervescent and endearing as Lisa Todd Wexley herself, Parker talked openly about the gag-worthy guest appearances on the show (Billy Dee Williams plays her dad!); the season 2 premiere, which was scaled down out of respect for the writers on strike; the diversity on And Just Like That…; the New York of it all; and of course, that Valentino dress.

So, I was not originally a Sex and the City girl, my dad funnily enough was the person in our house who loved the show. I was a late adopter and have many close friends that have said they would “follow these women into outer space.” I think I got more into it after seeing the first movie and then following along for And Just Like That…, so for me, as not a previously die-hard fan, this iteration felt like a natural progression for these women in their 50s in this post-COVID world living in New York. The insertion of diversity just felt like this is what life is like for them now.

I like to think that now the city looks like the city.

Yes, this is what the city looks like.

As a young writer you will have lunch with your non-binary Jewish friend, you’ll go to dinner with your Upper East Side Black banker friends, you’ll go to a nightclub with your white girlfriends. It’s a normal day for a woman in New York to have this kind of diversity and yet it didn’t overburden the show. It didn’t change the narrative. It is still high fashion, quirky, funny, emotional, real life experience that kind of unites us all. If you are divorced, if you are a widow, if you are struggling with sexuality, it’s all in there and still very well dressed.

I totally agree. I was having this conversation with my best friend, who is the biggest Sex and The City fan and also loves And Just Like That…, and we were talking about the people that have had a negative response to the show and have surmised, perhaps you need to look inward because…

I think it was difficult for people. Because of the new diversity and also because in their minds they themselves are still twenty-five, and they were upset because Samantha wasn’t there but also because everyone was a grown-up now, and might have had one gray hair. The one thing, though, is that SJ [Sarah Jessica Parker] and Kristin and Cynthia, they are so strong yet so delicate but so deeply seasoned and themselves that they helped Sarita [Choudhury], Karen [Pittman], Sara Ramirez, and I get through it. They said, “You guys got this.” There were many times where SJ just held my hand and was Like, “We got this.” The fans are die-hard fans and then they became angry fans, and then they became super-fans all over again. So in season 2 , the city has really embraced them.

How do you think your character specifically fits into this more adult version of SATC?

I think that it was kind of seamless in a way that Charlotte and her were mom friends, art friends, and on different boards together. I just think that everyone came on board and really rounded out the LTW character in terms of fashion and also in terms of substance. [Writer and producer] Keli Goff established the character in season one and then Madam Susan Fales-Hill joined the writers room this year and she really made sure that there wasn’t anything missed and how much information you can put into a scene. If you notice in my [character’s] dressing room, the women that are taped on my wall around my laptop: That’s an art-directed decision that Susan and [showrunner] Michael Patrick King wanted to legitimize this character and ground this character [with]. All the fashion, and all the fun, [but] they still wanted her to represent real people and be a real person. Not just the rich lady uptown that’s chic. Her husband, her children, her clothing; this is not a fantasy, this is a grounded, actual character that we will all grow to love hopefully.

I think that is my favorite part about LTW. Obviously she is very well dressed and she is this woman that can do it all, and honestly there aren’t many characters like that in general, let alone Black female characters.

The last time we saw someone like LTW was Helen Willis on The Jeffersons. You know the neighbor? I think maybe your dad will know who that is.

I am 33! I used to watch The Jeffersons. I mean, it was on Nick at Nite, but I have watched!

That is Lenny Kravitz’s mom and she was the first, I would say, LTW in terms of the Upper East Side Black New York woman. I always think of her when I am doing my scenes and what her life might’ve been if we got to see a spin-off of the Willises.

That is a great reference. I hadn’t even thought of that parallel. She was the original bougie Black woman and the first to do it in that way and also be funny and charming. I was also going to say that with LTW. Injecting diversity was paramount in this iteration of Sex and The City, along with inviting these new conversations into this space that previously didn’t exist. LTW and [her husband] Herbert do this in a way that doesn’t overtly feel like “we’re the Black characters on the show.” Obviously they are Black, but it seems it is interjected into their storylines and I think it’s done in a very organic way to the characters and it goes back to the choices made that you brought up such as the photos of women in your dressing room.

My husband was dressed to the nines last night and our apartment is on the Upper West Side and we opt out of raising the hand for the cab to go to our friend’s fundraiser because we’ll be late. It’s just part of the fabric of a Black person in New York’s life; and they put that in the show. But, it didn’t stop the rhythm of the show. They actually did it the way it happens. As Black people we have ten beats before we say, “hello.” The minute we walk out of our door there’s a whole myriad of interactions that you never see when we enter the benefit or the friend’s dinner party on the east side. You have no idea all the little microaggressions and things that happen with our kids, and hair, and clothes, and undermining in department stores and being followed. It’s unreal the things that we deal with and manage our stress so well. We absorb so much in any given day and I just love that MPK [Michael Patrick King] let Susan put that in.

I loved that too and I was initially surprised that the cab not stopping scene was in the show and the episode just continued on. The way you and Herbert address it at the end of the day felt very real to me in the way a couple is decompressing about what happened during the day. It feels authentic to these people.

We didn’t just pop out as these characters. Adding our in-laws, adding Pat Bowie [LTW’s character’s mother in-law], who by the way is a brilliant jazz singer if you Google her you’ll find her albums from the 60s. Bernard Telsey and MPK really love New York talent of all ages and there’s a bathroom scene where my character is speaking about a film she made and she gets caught in the snow storm and the woman in the bathroom with me was someone from the original Wiz with Stephanie Mills.

Oh, wow.

The thing about the depth of the character without overburdening the show—to make LTW’s mother in law an AKA…

My dad is an Alpha, my great grandmother is an AKA, and I have a lot of extended family that have pledged. I come from a long line of frat and sorors and that was even funnier to me.

His mother raised Herbert who then married LTW so there’s so much information in there that’s just seamless and it was all real and thorough.

From what I have seen so far, you have hit your stride with AJLT. Even the way the season starts it feels like a nod to OG SATC and then very quickly we get into the needs, wants, and goals of these women.

That is OG SATC, seeing what these women go through, their bodies, their hearts and minds, their goals, the challenges and what that looks like at 50. What does it mean to be dating at this age? What does that mean to be ghosted? What does that mean to be disappointed in bed? What does that mean to manage your children, and your relationship, and your mother-in-law? It’s still on-brand and that’s what’s so lovely about it. I think it’s even more private now. It’s a little expose-y and a little naughtier and I think it makes you want to get to episode 10 as fast as you can.

I want to talk about you and the parallels between you and LTW. You are a busy working actress, active mother, in a notable marriage. I mean, when we started this call you mentioned you were at last night’s event and after this call you’re heading to Germany to see your kids and mother-in-law, and Boris is making you coffee.

In a way, it’s like any working mom’s day. Just running around trying to do all the things and stay presentable. I just don’t have LTWs wardrobe, OK! At any given moment [onscreen] I am literally wearing one of my kid’s tuition from private school.

The clothing is really unmatched.

You can’t even really see the giant David Webb bracelet that I am wearing under the Issey Miyake coat with the Christopher John Rogers skirt and the Victor Glemaud sweater. It’s endless.

It’s endless!

Before they call action I am looking at the tags. Trying to take selfies in my own costume. [laughing].

We have to talk about the Valentino moment at the MET Gala.

Yes!

Because if you want to talk about gagging… You don’t get the reveal of all of the looks until the end of the episode. And then the headpiece it was just—it was a moment!

It was all [costume designer] Molly Rogers, She wanted something really fabulous for LTW to wear to the MET. I was told that there was a surprise coming and that they needed to take my measurements. About 6 weeks later this giant crate arrived and it was the unboxing. It was 15 feet of red silk chiffon. The Philip Treacy headdress came out of the box. It was custom made for me. I gagged. I gagged.

I gagged.

Then I read the scene again and I realized I would be crossing Park Avenue in real-time traffic. The wind cooperated and Chris Jackson [who plays Herbert] was brilliantly handling all of the fabric and it was a wrap. It was just a dream come true and quintessential Sex and The City and I loved every single minute of it. Then, when it was time to wrap the show, I went to fashion week in March and I got to meet Pier Paolo Piccioli and thank him for that gorgeous gown. Then I found out that he wanted to make a custom gown for me for the premiere.

So we thought we were going to have the giant blow out for the 25-year [anniversary of Sex and the City]. The whole city cooperated, we were going to be screening the show on the pier, they were going to build a screen and we were all going to go down the Hudson, and the bridge was going to light up pink and all of these amazing moments. And then the writers strike happened and we had to respectfully get in line and fight for them and MPK and John Melfi said you know what, we are going to [the] Crosby Street [Hotel] and we are going to celebrate our hard work and dress up. I thought because it wasn’t the big blowout party that Valentino may not have wanted to do the dress. They sent the sketch and my kids and husband framed it for me.

Oh my God.

It is very old Hollywood. Valentino for Nicole Ari Parker, Pier Paolo signed it and it was this gorgeous hand-drawn, painted sketch like the olden days and I was happy. And then I got a call that they still wanted to make the gown.

It was so awesome. Gorgeous coral silk and sheer pink blouse and a silk tie and in the tiny chairs of the Crosby Street Hotel with this massive amount of fabric, and Boris was sitting next to me covered in the gown.

It just seems like you are really enjoying every part of this journey on And Just Like That.

It’s been a lot of fun and it is just very comforting to be on such a deep team of people. You know? Nobody’s dumb. Everybody is so smart, and on it, and real and awake. Not even woke. Awake. Everyone is awake. Everyone is aware. You can launch into a fun silly conversation, a human woman conversation and a very deep conversation at any given moment on this set with any of these women and I am just fulfilled.

This interview was conducted prior to the SAG-AFTRA strike. It has been edited and condensed for clarity.