Gunther wins LOL: John Cena ends one-of-a-kind WWE career in bog-standard fashion

They say that familiarity breeds contempt, but that’s only half the story.

If something sticks around long enough, demands to be acknowledged relentlessly enough, that contempt can soften as thinking shifts from current annoyance to historical significance. Watching Tom Brady tap dance on the hopes and dreams of the entire American Football Conference was infuriating and heartbreaking in the moment, but that’s not what anyone was talking about when he won one more Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. LeBron James’ capitalized and televised “Decision” to head to South Beach felt like arrogance in the moment and looks entirely justified in retrospect.

So it went on Saturday, when an arena full of WWE fans were enraged by a John Cena loss.

That sentence would have been inconceivable to the average pro wrestling fan during Cena’s heyday. After an early run as a rapper called the “Doctor of Thuganomics,” WWE bookers presumably looked at Cena for the first time and recast him in the role of a super-powered jarhead. Trying to shake off its association with the equal parts juvenile and vulgar “Attitude Era” of the 1990s, WWE repeatedly handed the championship belt over to a troop-respecting golden boy.

Cena was the perfect avatar of the big, loud patriotism of War on Terror era, swinging into every match with “boot in your ass” swagger and ending it victorious after finishing his opponent with an “Attitude Adjustment.” Cena even broke the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed to many Americans. He announced that the Al-Qaeda leader had been “compromised to a permanent end” before President Barack Obama‘s official announcement.

Beyond his troop-respecting, Cena’s sloganeering was cheery even by WWE standards. He encouraged fans to “Never Give Up” and promoted his values of “Hustle. Loyalty. Respect.” It was a return to the “eat your veggies” sameness and unstoppable optimism of Hulk Hogan’s dynasty and it rankled many fans who grew up watching the goodie-two-shoes in the company get two middle fingers for their trouble.

You can’t hoist a record 17 WWE World Heavyweight Championship belts without winning a ton of matches, and Cena’s imperial era was full of matches where he eked out victory from an obvious defeat. The predictable end result caused “Cena wins Lol” to become a popular meme among online wrestling fans, who bristled at how boring it is watching a potential GOAT continue to be great.

But time heals all boring Main Events and fans were not ready to see Cena go out with a whimper in his final match. Cena had announced his match against Austrian heel Gunther on Saturday would be his last time in the WWE ring. Wrestling tradition dictates that big-name stars lose their last match, going out on their back to promote an up-and-comer. Cena did just that, tapping out of a submission hold for the first time in his decades-long career.

The tap-out from the man who made “Never Give Up” his entire personality shocked the fans in attendance, who rained down boos and expletives on WWE head booker Paul “Triple H” Levesque as he joined Cena in the ring for a send-off.

The reaction of WWE fans reminds me of an early job I had in my hometown local record store. The store’s owner, about 20 years senior to his staff, was absolutely shocked about our love of Billy Joel. To him, a punk in the ’80s and early ’90s, the Piano Man represented all that was wrong with pop music. That persistent harmonica intro or, god-forbid, his later forays into doo-wop were an eternal annoyance, part of the reason he started looking for some alternative in the first place.

“You seem like cool kids!” he raged. “How can you stand it?”

To us, Joel’s hits were eternal. “River of Dreams” was in constant rotation while we were learning to walk and talk. “Movin’ Out” was part of the American songbook. You might as well hate air.


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Many of the shocked faces watching Cena’s loss on Saturday night were children, decked out in imitations of Cena’s classic look of armbands and jean shorts. But it’s telling that the angriest shouts were all from adults. The same people showering Triple H with unprintable language were likely a little bit miffed to see Cena win his inevitable third, eighth or fifteenth championship. Stacked up on one end as we look back at Cena’s career, though, his greatness is equally indisputable.

Cena’s signature move wasn’t enough to finish off Gunther in his final match, but the attitude adjustment among WWE fans is undeniable.

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