Diplomacy by insult: Donald Trump is “really good at this stuff”

Forty years ago, we learned from John Mellencamp that you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.

So, stand up for free speech or fall to a despot who wants you to remain quiet.

Speaking on Tuesday in New York City before the largest gathering of world leaders at the United Nations General Assembly, President Donald Trump said all countries had to end “open borders.” 

Then he praised himself and showed his political a*s. “Look, I’m really good at this stuff. Your countries are going to hell,” he said. 

“Hell?…Why, I have no desire to go to Washington, D.C.,” I’m sure someone in the audience thought. Punchlines aside, Trump didn’t care if he angered everyone. It’s obvious he wanted to. One diplomat texted me, “Do people in America realize how bad he is?” 

The president also said that climate change was “the greatest con job ever perpetrated on the world, in my opinion.” Really? He also had the opinion that using bleach could cure Covid. But again, punchlines aside, that proclamation didn’t sit well with world leaders who understand science. It didn’t sit too well 40 years ago either. “We’ve got to start respectin’ this world or it’s gonna turn around and bite off our face,” Mellencamp sang.

Trump, of course, whined that he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize before proceeding to berate the crowd with his view of their shortcomings. Instead of learning “The Art of the Deal,” he should have studied “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” But Trump never graduated from Carnegie. He had shin splints.

Nonetheless, the UN appearance was a master class in diplomacy from our president, at least in his shrinking mind. He ran for office in 2024 to stay out of prison. And since his inauguration, he’s set out to exact revenge on those he believes have wronged him.

True to form, the Justice Department, which is totally controlled by Trump, brought criminal charges on Thursday night against former FBI Director James Comey, just days after he publicly pressured Attorney General Pam Bondi to target his enemies and fired a U.S. attorney who had refused. It’s not personal or anything. Sure.

Trump’s UN address is just the latest in a never-ending list of ways he has attacked people he wants to silence, embarrass or control. Never has a president been so vindictive and so small-minded. Never has the United States looked so laughable. 

The usual suspects praised Trump after the speech — including Puff Donny himself, who had to tell us all just how he had crushed it. His personal reviews were appropriately and overwhelmingly congratulatory. His favorite media outlets came through with celebratory huzzahs, though not as loudly as they once did. 

The foreign press was, for the most part, less cordial. Reuters perhaps said it best: “The 56-minute speech was a rebuke to the world body and a return to form for Trump, who routinely bashed the U.N. during his first term as president. Leaders gave him polite applause when he exited the chamber.”

The audience gave the president polite applause as he left because, with few exceptions, the rest of the world is quite frankly far more civilized and diplomatic than Donald Trump, and they need the American economy far more than him. He’s a literal throwback to bygone days which only existed on television, a few B-movies starring Ronald Reagan or in Roy Cohn’s personal porno collection. 

The biggest about-face came after Trump’s speech. Around noon on Tuesday, he posted on Truth Social, “After getting to know and fully understand the Ukraine/Russia Military and Economic situation and, after seeing the Economic trouble it is causing Russia, I think Ukraine, with the support of the European Union, is in a position to fight and WIN all of Ukraine back in its original form. With time, patience, and the financial support of Europe and, in particular, NATO, the original Borders from where this War started, is very much an option.” 

I guess we should be happy that he got to “fully understand” Ukraine. Some called it more of “catching up” than an about-face.

Trump criticized Russia, but never its president, Vlad “the Impaler” Putin. He said Russia was a “paper tiger” and that it had bragged about winning the war in a week, but was still in Ukraine three and a half years later. (Actually, Russia began the war in 2014, but Trump can’t say his BFF Putin has been stuffing Russian soldiers into a meat grinder for 11 years, because then Trump wouldn’t be able to say it’s Biden and Zelenskyy’s war. I mean, he can and I wouldn’t be surprised if he did, but at this point Puff Donny doesn’t have the dexterity he had during his first administration and he might pop his clutch if he tried.)

Trump ended his missive by saying, “Ukraine would be able to take back their Country in its original form and, who knows, maybe even go further than that! Putin and Russia are in BIG Economic trouble, and this is the time for Ukraine to act. In any event, I wish both Countries well. We will continue to supply weapons to NATO for NATO to do what they want with them. Good luck to all!” 

It almost sounded like he was waving the starting flag at the Indianapolis 500.

By calling Putin’s bluff and implicitly threatening Russia, Trump is playing a deadly game of brinkmanship. “[M]aybe even go further than that!” What the hell does that mean? Boots on the ground in Russia? Taking Russian real estate? Breaking the back of the Russian economy? 

How will Russia react to Trump’s overt threats? Russian efforts to conquer Ukraine have stalled in the Ukrainian countryside east of Kyiv, so Trump figures he’s got the upper hand.

If Putin does back down, Trump might get the Nobel Peace Prize he so desperately desires. But few believe Putin will do that. He’s maniacal in his attempt to rule over every place on the planet that speaks Russian or, more accurately, drinks Russian vodka. That covers the parts of the civilized world Putin covets — including Alaska.

All this means Trump is putting us in a situation with Russia that we haven’t seen since the end of the Cold War. This brinkmanship is inherently dangerous, and the president isn’t serious enough to handle the task, nor does he have anyone in his administration who has demonstrated they understand what they are doing. 

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, now attempting to do business as the “Secretary of War,” is far too worried about getting reporters to sign NDAs and tending to his makeup room at the Pentagon, than dealing with the long term goals of Vlad the Impaler. Hegseth’s cryptic call for hundreds of generals and admirals to meet next week at Quantico, Va., is chilling in its implication and frightening in its scope. Will he demand fealty to Trump and supersede the constitution? Will he warn about Russian hegemony? Will he demand makeup mirrors everywhere he travels? Who knows.

Meanwhile, Trump must also deal with a potential government shutdown, court cases that threaten to curtail his most despotic desires and a press that, try as he might, he just can’t control enough to keep someone from mentioning Jeffrey Epstein every five minutes.

He certainly can’t control GOP Rep. Thomas Massie from Kentucky, who is leading the charge to force a floor vote that would compel the Justice Department to release further material in the Epstein case. Trump has vowed to unseat him for doing so. As of last week, the Courier Journal reported that no one has stepped up yet to challenge Massie in his district. 

Then there’s Jimmy Kimmel, whose late-night show was suspended on Sept. 17 for an innocuous comment he made with which the White House took umbrage. Kimmel came back on Tuesday night, and that set off Puff Donny. He posted on Truth Social, “I can’t believe ABC Fake News gave Jimmy Kimmel his job back. The White House was told by ABC that his Show was cancelled! Something happened between then and now because his audience is GONE, and his ‘talent’ was never there. Why would they want someone back who does so poorly, who’s not funny, and who puts the Network in jeopardy by playing 99% positive Democrat GARBAGE. He is yet another arm of the DNC and, to the best of my knowledge, that would be a major Illegal Campaign Contribution. I think we’re going to test ABC out on this. Let’s see how we do. Last time I went after them, they gave me $16 Million Dollars. This one sounds even more lucrative. A true bunch of losers! Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad Ratings.”

Juvenile? Yes. Presidential? Hardly. The Truth Social rant also killed MAGA’s favorite argument that Trump had nothing to do with Kimmel’s firing. 

Trump’s recent actions indicate he is a man even more desperate than we originally knew. There is no bottom. There is no place he won’t go and no foe he won’t torture. 

Such acts of desperation have some — even inside his administration — upset and concerned. Some question the president’s physical health. Some question his mental health. Some question both, and as one source told me, “Whatever it is, we know it ain’t good.”

For his part, Trump says that he’s good at this and has it all under control. But he’s dipped so often into the well of “trust me, nobody can fix this but me,” that it has gone bone dry. 

If these are Trump’s last days in office — and many people have said this before, and they have been wrong — then his UN appearance will be a sad codicil to his presidency. It will be a long time before the U.S. can demand liberty for oppressed nations and be taken seriously.

The president “has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it,” and he wants revenge for being born as Doc Holiday said of Johnny Ringo in “Tombstone.”

But whatever the case with Trump may be, more people need to tell him to bugger off. Hey, I did it. Three times, in court — and I won each time thanks to Ted Boutrous, one of the best First Amendment attorneys on the planet.  I’m not that good. But Boutrous is, and Trump is merely that bad.

When Kimmel returned to late-night on Tuesday, he thanked his supporters, including those who don’t support his show. “This show is not important,” Kimmel said. “What is important is that we get to live in a country that allows us to have a show like this.”

“I know the American people / Paid a high price for justice / And I don’t know why / Nobody seems to know why,” Mellencamp sang.

Stand up to the bully. Or fall for anything.