Your weekend brunch needs 3-ingredient spicy bacon cinnamon rolls

Spicy bacon cinnamon rolls are so good that they should be illegal. Fair warning: eating these more than once a month could lead to sore knees, a bum ticker and other problems. Another fair warning: these babies are worth the pain and more. 

Here’s a healthy update — the economy sucks, the Supreme Court (mainly Clarence Thomas) is for sale, Trump will be running the first presidential campaign from jail and we have no idea who our country’s next president will be, so we deserve a the biggest cheat day anyone can imagine. 

Now, I’m no expert on dieting. However, I believe that chasing cheat days could lead to failure, mainly because those weekly cravings turn into daily desires, ultimately defeating the purpose. So, what does work? Monthly or bi-monthly cheat days. Again, I’m no diet expert, but this method has worked for me, a guy down a modest six pounds. And to celebrate my weight loss and distract myself from the pain that is America — I offer my own spicy bacon cinnamon rolls. I know it sounds wild, but sweet, spicy, and savory go together like our government and letdowns, the same letdowns forcing this cheat day. 

The origin of the spicy bacon cinnamon rolls is not that complex and I am embarrassed that I didn’t figure this out long ago. I was at a brunch buffet with one of the most beautiful spreads anyone has ever seen: pancakes, French toast, pickled eggs, three types of bacon, smoked salmon filets, fried lobster, fried cat fish, an omelet station, grits and big, beautiful, sticky cinnamon rolls. 

I was on a mission to try a little of everything, failing because it was all so good. My last plate had catfish, turkey bacon, and eggs; I needed a biscuit. The biscuits were gone, and the wait was 10 to 15 minutes. I didn’t want to wait, so I grabbed a cinnamon roll. Someone once said God doesn’t make mistakes and it’s very accurate because a splash of hot sauce meant for my catfish hit my cinnamon roll, and I loved it. I then put a little egg on the roll, which I didn’t care for. Finally, I forked hunk of cinnamon roll, bacon, and hot sauce; it was heaven. After eating, I felt that this Godly mistake needed to be intentional. 

The following Sunday, I made a can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls instead of waffles or pancakes and served them with bacon—the same result. So I decided to Google cinnamon rolls and bacon recipes, which landed me on a collection of gems to perfect this experimental dish. 

What most of the recipes did, that I never would have thought of, is frying the bacon partially, rolling it into the dough used to make the cinnamon rolls, and then baking it–– perfection.