Raped by my ex 

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Dear Bunmi,

For 18 months, Greg and I had a very strong relationship and the sex was great.

Unfortunately and for no reason, I fell out of love with him and had to break things up.

He was really devastated, in spite of the fact that I let him down as gently as I could, because he was very nice to me.

I’m now in another relationship and happy.  Some few weeks ago, I met Greg at a lecture and he invited me to his flat for a drink. Since we both remained good friends, I went with him.

He told me he had a few girlfriends and I was genuinely happy for him. I’d scarcely touched my drink when he was all over me. I was shocked. He pinned me to the couch and started having sex with me and hurting me in the process. I asked him to stop several times but he didn’t, until I was able to free my hands and grab him round the throat to get him off.

He showed no remorse whatsoever, and had the guts to tell me I shouldn’t find lovemaking with him so repulsive, since we were once lovers.

He still wants us to be friends. What I can’t understand is why a man who was once a gentleman could turn into a brute?

Taiye, by e-mail.

Dear Taiye,

By going with your ex to his flat, knowing both of you would be alone, must have sent the wrong signal to him.  You did the dumping and he obviously hasn’t forgiven you for that.

It is important that you get this emotional trauma behind you and be wary next time you decide to go to any single man’s apartment alone, especially if sex might be on the cards.

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